quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
