so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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