Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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