I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
