I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
