maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
