Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
