Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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