my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
