Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
