he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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