I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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