We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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