Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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