Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I want her autograph on my taint
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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