the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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