when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
