Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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