Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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