For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
