oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
please come you make the beer taste better
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
