i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
