Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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