STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
why is half of my head shaved?
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