just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager