He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
