I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
