I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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