the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i out mim tonsoeep
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