Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
