You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
