Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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