"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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