Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
