He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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