I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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