3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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