I faked an abortion last night.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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