Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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