I want to stick my p in your. b.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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