It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
did you just send me my own nude
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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