If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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