okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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