In America we eat man semen.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
