if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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