They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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