I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize