I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
