why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
