ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
