we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
