It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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