I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What a dumb baby whore.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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