you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
