his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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