So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
