Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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